Decision Making
Posted By Msuega Tese —

Grey Area (The Disputable Matters)

I prefer everything in Black and White (see my previous blog post). Afterall, I’m a Tiv man from Benue State, Nigeria. Our traditional attire is called “A’nger u Tiv“. A’nger – pronounced /en-dʒɛ/ (like in gesture). The A’nger is beautifully woven with Black and White yarns akin to zebra skin. I agree with Kunde Terkura Matthew‘s view: “A Tiv man believes in taking a clear stand on any issue concerning life. In Tiv: It is either day or night, left or right, yes or no, death or life, etc. I believe that is symbolically represented in nature as Black and White.” [i]

Unfortunately, in life, not everything is “Black and White”. Intermediate between Black and White, there is the Grey colour. In the Grey Area, things work very differently.Grey Area is defined as “An ill-defined situation or area of activity not readily conforming to a category or set of rules.” – Oxford Dictionary.

In the Grey Area, any course of action can be disputed. It is therefore a matter of personal choice. For instance, which candidate should a citizen vote for in an election? Or who should you marry? Or where should you work? Any choice one makes can be disputed by others.
The Grey Area is also full of dilemmas. A Dilemma is defined as “A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially ones that are equally undesirable.” – Oxford Dictionary. For example, the four lepers facing starvation in 2 Kings 7:3-4 were able to articulate 3 options, all of which were undesirable:
3 Now there were four men with leprosy at the entrance of the city gate. They said to each other, “Why stay here until we die? 4 If we say, ‘We’ll go into the city’—the famine is there, and we will die. And if we stay here, we will die. So let’s go over to the camp of the Arameans and surrender. If they spare us, we live; if they kill us, then we die.”
They had to choose anyway. Fortunately, their choice turned out to be the right one.
In 1 Chronicles 21, king David carried out a census against God’s will. God gave him 3 options to choose from: 11 So Gad went to David and said to him, “This is what the Lord says: ‘Take your choice: 12 three years of famine, three months of being swept away before your enemies, with their swords overtaking you, or three days of the sword of the Lord—days of plague in the land, with the angel of the Lord ravaging every part of Israel.’ Now then, decide how I should answer the one who sent me.”
None of them were easy for king David, but he had to and he did choose anyway.
These were real but undesirable choices. You can’t blame the lepers or David for their choices. Someone else in their situation may choose very differently.
There are no absolutes; it is a matter of personal choice. Apostle Paul once said: “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.” Romans 14:1.
Sometimes, Grey Area situations cause a Clash of Principles.

For example, Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl of the US army was held captive by the Taliban for 5 years. On May 31, 2014, in a prisoner swap arrangement with the US government, the Taliban released Bowe. The US considers the Taliban a terrorist group. It is interesting that US authorities focused their defense of their actions on the “No soldier left behind” principle, while their critics focused their questions on the premise that “US does not negotiate with terrorists.” So the opposing views were simply a clash of principles.[ii]

So how do you deal with matters in the Grey Area?

Let’s start with what you should not do.

Do not rationalize by putting straight forward, Black and White matters, in the Grey Area. Doing so may make your decision easier, but you may end up with undesirable consequences. Bernie Madoff rationalized to create the  biggest ponzi scheme ever and a 150-year jail term to match! [iii]

You don’t want that, do you?
But when a matter is really in the Grey Area, be careful passing judgment on others.

What should you do?

a) Listen to your Conscience
Your conscience can serve as a useful compass in the Grey Desert.
But what is conscience?

It is “That faculty of the mind, or inborn sense of right and wrong, by which we judge of the moral character of human conduct. It is common to all men. Like all our other faculties, it has been perverted by the Fall. It is spoken of as “defiled”, and “seared”. A “conscience void of offence” is to be sought and cultivated.” [iv] Apostle Paul talked several times about Conscience.  He specifically instructed Timothy, his protégée: “holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.” 1 Timothy 1:19. Please do not ignore your conscience and ruin your faith.

b) Seek Wise Counsel

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)Seek counsel of others. Don’t merely look for those who will confirm your decision. This is how king Ahab rejected the wise counsel of prophet Micaiah but listened to the 400 select prophets who would always tell him what he wanted to hear. Yet, on the battlefield, it turned out very differently–he was killed just as Micaiah warned it would happen! [v]
c) Pray!
Some years ago, I had lunch with a friend of which I will never forget. We had pounded yam and egusi served with dry fish – a Nigerian delicacy. While we were having great time, barely talking to each other, something went wrong. My friend suddenly stopped and appeared to be choking. It turned out that a bone got stuck in his throat. We wondered what we should do. Should he use a helping of pounded yam to push it down or attempt to take it out? We were not sure at all what was best in the situation. I prayed “Lord, please show us what to do. Should he push this bone down or take it out? Lord, we need your help. In Jesus Name.” As soon as I finished praying, my friend used his thumb and index finger and easily pulled out the bone! It was a big opercular bone! Attempts to push it down could have caused serious damage. Thanking God He helped us resolve the dilemma, we resumed our hard work of demolishing the mountain of pounded yam until we saw “Made in China” imprinted at the bottom of the plate!
Prayer works! But momentary prayer that is effective (even in the Grey Area) is built on a regular prayer life and meditation upon God’s Word. Don’t wait until a bone gets stuck in your throat to pray – cultivate a regular prayer life. Martin Luther, the German reformer, when once asked what his plans for the following day were, answered: “Work, work, from early until late. In fact, I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” [vi] You may not be able to spend the first three hours of your day like Martin Luther, but you can at least spend 30 minutes praying to prepare yourself for the day ahead that is likely going to be full of dilemmas.
For career decisions, marriage and other similar issues, prolonged period of prayer may be required before clarity can be gained.
Finally, you need to make a decision even if you are not completely sure despite all the steps taken. Like medicine after death, the best decision made too late will have no impact on the outcome.

In summary, in the Grey Area, any course of action can be disputed, so it is a matter of personal choice. Putting Black and White matters in the Grey Area may cause undesirable consequences. Your conscience, counsel of others and prayers will help a lot in dealing with matters in the Grey Area. After you have taken all the steps, please make a decision.

Further Reading
i.  The Unique and Symbolic Nature of A’nger U Tiv by Kunde Terkura Matthew
ii. Bowe Bergdahl – Debate over negotiations
iii. Bernie Madoff talks about his crimes (hbs, youtube)
iv. Conscience Definition – Easton’s Illustrated Bible Dictionary
v. Micaiah Warns King Ahab – 1 Kings 22:1-40
vi. Purpose in Prayer II – The Complete Works of E. M. Bounds

Please watch out for my next post:
Red (The Sensitive and dangerous matters)
 

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